I wanted to text her for several weeks but kept putting it off out of fear. What if she says no? What if she’s too busy? What if she just doesn’t want to do it?
I knew my hesitations were rooted in the fear of rejection, so — before I could talk myself out of it again, I quickly started typing out a text message. After re-reading my message several times, I clicked send.
I knew this was a good decision, and I reminded myself to trust in God for whatever happened. Asking an older, godly woman to mentor me was something I knew I needed to do. I had read Titus 2 a million times and knew that God’s good plan for Christian women is for “older women to teach younger women…”
I was already mentoring several younger women myself and knew I needed to pursue that same thing in my own life.
After several days, I got a text message back from the woman I had texted saying that she would love to mentor me!
I was beyond excited. I would finally have a mentor of my own and couldn’t wait to start learning from this godly older woman.
Mentorship and discipleship. These are foundational things for us as Christian women. Older women mentoring younger women is God’s good plan for our spiritual growth and personal accountability. We were never created to fly solo. We were made to live out the Christian life together with one another in genuine, deep relationships. We need godly input and wisdom from those who have gone before us.
That’s one of the biggest reasons my sister and I started Girl Defined Ministries. To link arms and support the Christian sisterhood.
Titus 2:3-5 says, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
I finally met with my mentor for the first time this past week and it was awesome.
We talked about life, Jesus, struggles, prayers, accountability and more. Titus 2 was coming to life right before my eyes. It was amazing and I’m already a raving fan.
Every mentorship relationship will look different, but to give you an idea of how it works, here’s what we’re doing:
We’re planning to meet up, in person, every 2-3 weeks at a coffee shop. During that time, we’ll talk about specific areas of growth that I’m working on (marriage, Bible study, character growth, spiritual disciplines, etc). My mentor will ask how I’m doing and offer any helpful wisdom, Scriptures, or resources that could help me. She will hold me accountable in certain areas and follow-up with me on how I’m doing (personal devotional time, prayer, scripture memory, etc). And lastly, as life is always unpredictable, we’ll talk about anything new, challenging, or difficult that I’m facing that particular week.
Even after just one meeting, I can already see how amazingly beneficial this is going to be for me. This is something I put off for far too long and wish I had pursued sooner. Now, more than ever, I really want this for every single woman (regardless of your age or season of life). Asking someone to mentor you isn’t scary as it seems.
If you’re not sure how to get a mentor or where to even start, here are a few tips to get the ball rolling.
1. PRAY AND ASK GOD TO BRING SOMEONE TO MIND.
It took me a while before I knew exactly who I wanted to ask. I prayed and asked God to bring a godly older woman to mind. God answered my prayer and brought to mind an amazing woman who lives right within my own community! I know He can do the same for you. Even if she doesn’t live near you, Skype and FaceTime are also great ways to “meet” each time.
2. CONTACT HER RIGHT AWAY.
Once God brings someone to mind, don’t let fear grip your heart. That’s what happened to me for several weeks and it was so pointless. You have to pray for courage and then take a leap of faith. Don’t expect someone to come knocking on your door either…you have to initiate the conversation. You have to ask someone to be your mentor. If this sounds scary and you’re not sure how to ask, I want to share with you the exact text message that I sent to my mentor. Here’s how I asked her (word for word with emojis and all):
“Hey Susan! It’s been so great seeing y’all at church recently. I have a question that I’ve been wanting to ask you, and have been praying about it for quite some time. I would rather do it in person, but since I won’t see you for a while, a text will have to do.
I admire and respect you and really look up to you as a godly older woman who I want to emulate in so many ways. I’ve been praying about seeking out a mentor and you kept coming to mind. I don’t know what your schedule is like right now, but I would love to have you as a mentor in my life! Please pray about it – and NO pressure if it won’t work right now.
I imagine it looking like meeting up once a month or so, with some accountability during the week via texting or whatever…?
Let me know your thoughts and if this is something you’d be open to/available to do. Thanks so much!”
Feel free to copy and paste any part of my text to use for yourself!
3. IF IT DOESN’T WORK THE FIRST TIME, TRY, TRY AGAIN.
Not every “ask” ends in a mentorship relationship. People are busy and might have more going on behind the scenes than you realize. If your “ask” ends with a no answer, don’t let that discourage you. Go back to step one and begin praying again for someone new to pursue. I knew a girl who had to ask 3 different people before it worked out. That’s very normal. Whatever you do, don’t give up!
If you’d like to get mentored right away, you can join my 8-week mentorship course. Get all the details at girldefined.com/mentorship.
Having a mentor is a wonderful and fruitful part of God’s good plan for discipleship. I can’t encourage you enough to begin praying today and asking God to provide a godly woman in your life. You won’t regret it!
About the Author:
Bethany Beal is head-over-heels in love with her best friend and husband, David, and is the super proud mommy of Davey Jr. She is the cofounder of Girl Defined Ministries, author of several books, including Not Part of the Plan: Trusting God with the Twists and Turns of Your Story, and is passionate about spreading the truth of biblical womanhood. To her family and close friends, she is simply a tall blonde Texan who is obsessed with iced lattes and can’t get enough of her sweet little family.
