Below is an excerpt of my guest post for Beauty is in the Eye of Our Beholder Series hosted by Deborah Rutherford where I was invited to share my personal story about how God sees us as His beautiful daughters and how it led to my decision to blog about inner beauty.
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I learned very early what it was like to be loved. I was a daddy’s girl and as my mother put it long after his passing, “He loved you so much!” I knew that was true, but it was nice to be reminded. The feeling of being so loved and special came flooding back. I remember my father once surprising me with a stroller for my doll just because he noticed me eyeing it in a catalog.
I was not only surprised by that gift but surprised that my father was paying such close attention to me and the things I was secretly wishing for. How did he do that?! I was amazed. I didn’t know it at the time but isn’t that just like our Heavenly Father?
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4 AMPC
It was humbling to receive that gift because it wasn’t my birthday or Christmas or even anything I truly thought I would ever get. It was just something I thought would be nice but not necessary to have for my doll.
The fact that my father knew what I wanted was surprising enough, but the fact that he took the time to stop by the store to buy it for me on his way home from work is what really was astounding. I remember it being bittersweet because I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t bring anything for my brother. When we were a little older though, he taught my brother how to play chess and wouldn’t let me participate so I guess it balanced out. We each had our special moments with him.
As an adult, I can look back and see what my father wanted for me. He wanted me to be a good wife, a virtuous woman. I found this out in a most unexpected way when my father told me one day out of the blue, “Go make me a sandwich.” I looked around for my mother and not finding her there, I questioned my father about whether that was something I should really have to do. My mother always prepared all the meals, so I wanted to know why this new responsibility was being placed on me. He was laying on the couch and lifted his head up and gave me a look that I will never forget. It was one of those, What did I say? looks that said this was not up for debate, so I made him a sandwich.
Afterward, I was given some constructive criticism about my sandwich-making skills (only one slice of meat?). And while my father ate my subpar sandwich, he told me all about how I will have a husband one day and since he will want a sandwich, I should learn to make them. I was about 10 years old and decided right then that I was going to have… a personal chef. I told my parents about it at dinner one night. No need to train me in cooking! I thought I had the perfect “solution.” They both said that it was a bad idea and insisted that I should and would want to cook my own meals. They were right but I didn’t know it at the time. I still had some growing up to do.
As a teen, I was a debutante. As part of the process, I was sent to charm school where I learned proper etiquette befitting a young woman: how to walk, sit, stand, get in and out of cars, the proper way to cross your legs, and so on. I even learned to dance the waltz. My father presented me to society in a grand ball! In spite of all this training, I still went dancing at our local teen nightclub (Danceopolis!) and to parties with roommates in college. I had acknowledged Jesus as the Son of God and accepted Him as Lord and Savior at 12 years old when I participated in my first communion service at my grandfather’s Baptist church. But I wasn’t really living like I did. I was copying the ways of the world, my focus on music videos, teen idols, clothes, and makeup. Thankfully God is faithful and I eventually learned that those things did not lead to the way, the truth, or the life. Instead of movie stars, my role model became the Proverbs 31 Woman.
