Below is my article, originally written as a guest post on Woman of Noble Character and published on June 21, 2021. Since June is such a popular month for weddings, I decided to write about marriage. As I studied them, what I learned is that there are three lessons we can learn from wives of the Bible. These lessons are important, even for single women like me.
Lesson 1: Let Your Husband Lead
Marriages typically start with the man taking the lead, starting with proposing. There is probably a very good reason for that since two big problems resulted when two wives from the Bible took the lead from their husbands. Let’s take a look at what happened when these two women took charge.
Eve
Eve was deceived into believing that she didn’t have to really believe what God said. She suffered from lust of the eyes as she saw that the tree was beautiful, its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. Rather than check with her husband about what the snake had to say, she took the forbidden fruit and ate it, then influenced her husband to do the same. The Result: The fall of man (Genesis 3:1-19).
Should Eve have taken the lead here, or should she have spoken to her husband before making the decision to ignore what God said? Adam knew better, yet allowed his wife to influence him to do the wrong thing anyway.
Sadly, that is only the first instance of a wife taking the lead and influencing her husband to do the wrong thing. Sarai is the second.
“The man named his wife Eve (life spring, life giver), because she was the mother of all the living.” – Genesis 3:20 AMP
Sarai
Like Eve, Sarai influenced her husband to go against God when she lost faith in Him to fulfill His promise of a son.
She took matters into her own hands and instructed her husband to sleep with her maid, Hagar. He went along with this plan which led to a rather unharmonious home because Sarai’s maid despised her for it. Making matters worse, Sarai blamed Abram for the problem that she created, then went on to mistreat her maid out of jealousy. Genesis 16:1-6
God is faithful, however, keeping His promise that Sarai—whose name He first changed to Sarah (meaning princess)—would bear a son (Genesis 17:15).
What we can learn from Sarai is to stay in faith and trust that God will do what He says. She would have saved herself, her husband, Hagar, and Ishmael a lot of heartache and pain if she had let her husband lead. The result for not doing so: The Arabic and Israeli nations fathered through Abram’s sons Ishmael and Isaac are still opposed to each other to this day.
From both Eve and Sarai, we can also learn that women have the power to influence our husbands, so we need to make sure we use it for God’s purposes, not our own.
“Then God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai (my princess), but her name will be Sarah (Princess). I will bless her, and indeed I will also give you a son by her. Yes, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.” – Genesis 17:15-16 AMP
Lesson 2: Follow God, Not the Crowd
How many times have you been tempted to do the popular thing, to stay in your comfort zone, to not rock the boat even though you know it is not what God wants you to do? Well not these wives.
Ruth
When her husband and both of her sons died in Moab, and Naomi decided to return home to Bethlehem, her daughter-in-law Ruth decided to go with her (Ruth 1:6-13). Ruth was a Moabite, which was a tribe that descended from Moab, Lot’s son born from an incestuous encounter with his oldest daughter (Genesis 19:32-37). The Moabites were pagans who worshipped the god Chemosh and even sacrificed children (2 Kings 3:27).
Rather than return to her gods and where she would have a better opportunity to find another husband, Ruth decided to live with Naomi in Bethlehem, make Naomi’s people her people, and Naomi’s God her God (Ruth 1:14-18, 22).
God rewarded Ruth for her kindness and loyalty in taking care of the widowed Naomi with a husband of her own, Boaz.
What we can learn from Ruth is that God rewards us with more when we lay down our lives in faith. Ruth did not know that she would find a husband in Bethlehem at all, let alone one of Boaz’s caliber. She could have sought to preserve her life by staying in her land and amongst her people. But she knew that Naomi needed her and was willing to give up the life she knew to take care of the mother-in-law she loved.
“May he also be to you one who restores life and sustains your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you and is better to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.” – Ruth 4:15 AM
Elizabeth
Another wife who refused to follow the crowd was Elizabeth. Elizabeth was the wife of a priest, Zacharias, and the mother of John the Baptist during the Roman reign of King Herod. Barrenness in those days was thought to be a consequence for unrighteousness, however, both Elizabeth and Zacharias were righteous and blameless in the sight of God. Their childless state in their old age was the result of a special purpose God had for them, to become parents of John the Baptist (Luke 1:6-17, 25, 58).
During Elizabeth’s entire pregnancy and for 8 days after his birth, her husband was mute, his consequence for not believing the angel Gabriel that she would bear him a son (Luke 1:18-20). Yet somehow Elizabeth knew that she was to give her son the name John. Perhaps the Holy Spirit prompted her to name him John or maybe her husband informed some time during the pregnancy. Either way, Elizabeth didn’t succumb to peer pressure when all of her relatives and neighbors gathered at the circumcision and tried to insist that her baby must be named Zacharias. She obeyed God instead and insisted that, no, he be called John in spite of what customs and traditions dictated (Luke 1:59-63).
Elizabeth did not let them take control; she submitted to God and her husband. The lesson we can learn from her is to stand up to pressure to go along with the crowd, to do things the world’s way, or to try to fit in. When faced with such peer pressure, we should follow Elizabeth’s example and trust in and obey God, even when it doesn’t seem logical or make sense to others.
“I assure you and most solemnly say to you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist.” – Matthew 11:11a AMP
Lesson 3: How to Lead
When we don’t understand submission, we run the risk of believing that it means that we are voiceless. That is far from the case; you can both have an opinion and be submissive as we will see with these next two wives of the Bible.
Esther
Esther had grace and favor in the sight of King Ahasueres; it was why he crowned her queen instead of Vashti (Esther 2:17).
However, approaching the king without being summoned could result in being put to death, even for his queen. Esther put her own life at risk by doing so anyway to save the lives of her people (Esther 4:11).
Rather than just blurt out her request to the king, she instead extended an invitation for him to attend two separate banquets that she had prepared. It pleased the king so he was happy to honor her request to spare her life and the life of her people who were ordered to be destroyed. She allowed God to help her determine the best time to make her request and she did so with grace and humility (Esther 5:1-8; 7:1-6).
What we can learn from Esther is to speak up when appropriate, to use your influence to help others, to be a voice for the voiceless. She also teaches that we should prepare when intervening on the behalf of others and how to do so: through prayer and fasting. Seeking God’s guidance and favor is a wise thing to do in all circumstances, but especially in those that are life threatening, as was in Esther’s case. She prayed and fasted and prayed for God’s favor and then left the outcome in God’s hands, an example we should all follow when we face a trial (Esther 4:16).
“The command of Esther established these customs for Purim, and it was written in the book [of the royal archives].” – Esther 9:32 AMP
Priscilla
Priscilla (Prisca) and Aquila were tentmakers in Corinth after they were expelled from Rome with other Jews for following Christ. Priscilla opened their home to Paul, a stranger, allowing him to preach the Gospel to the Corinthians (Acts 18:2-5). Inseparable in their devotion to serving the Lord, Priscilla were both esteemed leaders in the church, endangering their lives for Paul, as well as using their home as a meeting place for church (Romans 16:3-5; 1 Corinthians 16:19). They also traveled with Paul to help support the church in Ephesus (Acts 18:18-19).
What we can learn from Priscilla is that one way to be both submissive and a leader is through ministry. Priscilla is thought to either have higher social standing and/or better teaching abilities than her husband because her name appears before his four times; customarily the husband’s name leads. She was a learner and a doer of God’s Word, learning it well enough to teach it to the very learned Apollos (Acts 18:26). Some scholars even believe that Priscilla is the author of Hebrews. How amazing it that?!
“…and he began to speak boldly and fearlessly in the synagogue. But when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained more accurately to him the way of God [and the full story of the life of Christ].” – Acts 18:26 AMP
Which of these wives would you most like to emulate? Which lesson do you find most valuable? Be sure to let me know in the comments!
Until next time, stay beautiful!
