How to Find a Good Church Home That is Right for You

Attending church is definitely a goal that we as Christians should have. I love going to church. Having a place to worship, learn the Word of God, and fellowship with other believers is part of a healthy lifestyle.  It is a refreshing and restorative way to start the week. But how do you know which church you should attend?  Finding a good church home is not always easy, especially if you do not know what you should expect from one.

What You Should Expect from Your Church Home

Here are what I think are the most important expectations you should have of any church from How to Find a Church: 7 Things to Look For. Having expectations in mind will help you narrow down the list of churches that you are considering.

Unity and Fellowship 

You should feel welcome and connected with other members whenever you attend church.  For some people, this means attending a small church where it is easy to get to know everyone. My favorite church was a small one for this reason. It was nice having a pastor who knows your name. For some people this means attending a large church that offers more ministries and programs. Either way, opportunities for fellowship should be available and encouraged. 

for a worldly lifestyle the rest of the week. Helping to expand the kingdom of God should be their pleasure.

Worship

There are many styles of worship and you should choose a church whose style is to your liking.  Regardless of the style, you should expect worship to be of God alone.

Qualified Leadership

Last but not least, you should expect leadership that is qualified as outlined in 1 Timothy 3:1-13 from your church home.

“This is a faithful and trustworthy saying: if any man [eagerly] seeks the office of overseer (bishop, superintendent), he desires an excellent task. Now an overseer must be:

• free from the love of money [not greedy for wealth and its inherent power—financially ethical].

• He must manage his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity [keeping them respectful and well-behaved] (for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?).
• He must not be a new convert, so that he will not [behave stupidly and] become conceited [by appointment to this high office] and fall into the [same] condemnation incurred by the devil [for his arrogance and pride]. 
• And he must have a good reputation and be well thought of by those outside the church, so that he will not be discredited and fall into the devil’s trap.

Deacons likewise:

• must be men worthy of respect [honorable, financially ethical, of good character]
• not double-tongued [speakers of half-truths]
• not addicted to wine
• not greedy for dishonest gain, but upholding and fully understanding the mystery [that is, the true doctrine] of the [Christian] faith with a clear conscience [resulting from behavior consistent with spiritual maturity].

These men must first be tested; then if they are found to be blameless and beyond reproach [in their Christian lives], let them serve as deacons.

Women must likewise be worthy of respect, not malicious gossips, but self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things.

Deacons must be husbands of only one wife and good managers of their children and their own households. For those who have served well as deacons gain a high standing [having a good reputation among the congregation], and great confidence in the faith which is [founded on and centered] in Christ Jesus.” 

You should expect to be taught the Word of God, therefore, your church leaders’ sermons should be based on the scriptures.  Furthermore, in addition to practicing holiness themselves, they should encourage it.

How to find a Church Home

Now that you know what to look for, how exactly do you go about finding a church home? Here are some suggestions from How to Find a Church:

See Related: Becoming a Daughter of God

Pray for Guidance

of faith to see if it aligns with your own, and so that you can learn more about their ministries and programs, as well as about their leaders and how they got their start.

Visit Different Churches Three Times Each

After you have narrowed down your search online, and when it is safe to do so again, visit in person.  Go three times, then ask yourself these questions from the How to Find a Church Checklist:

• Is this where I can connect with God and worship freely?
• Will I learn about the Bible here?
• Are fellowship and community encouraged?
• Are people’s lives being changed?
• Is there a place for me to serve in the church and opportunities for me to pray with other believers?
• Does the church reach out by sending missionaries and through financial giving and local outreach?
• Is this where God wants me to be?

What to Look Out For

According to Our Daily Bread in the article Authority Abuse in the Church, misuse of power in the church is nothing new.  Some Biblical examples they cite include:

• The sons of Samuel, who as judges were supposed to be just, instead took bribes to enrich themselves (1 Samuel 8:3).
• Saul abused his power as king trying to kill David, the man God chose to be the next one (1 Samuel 19-24).
• David abused his power as king to commit adultery and then to arrange her husband’s death (2 Samuel 11:1-27).
• Diotrephes abused his power by refusing to even allow the Apostle John to attend his church (3 John 1:9-10).

Modern Day Red Flags

The warning signs that a church may not be healthy, include:

Control and Exclusion. It is essential that you have the freedom to think for yourself at church. Therefore, if any threat of expulsion exists to try to force your submission, keep looking. 

Fear.  If loyalty is used to enable leaders in their fear of losing power or members’ in their fear of confronting those in authority, you should continue your search for a church home that has accountability for those in leadership.

Confusion.  This happens when leaders teach members of their congregation to believe that they are hearing from God when they speak, such as can be seen in cults.  If you see this happening, it is important to find a different church home.

We often do not speak about the negative experiences that can and do happen at church, but it is important that we do. It is important that we do our part to ensure that churches are a safe place for everyone. For more on this topic, please read the whole article cited above.

“Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I was compelled to write to you [urgently] appealing that you fight strenuously for [the defense of] the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints [the faith that is the sum of Christian belief that was given verbally to believers]. For certain people have crept in unnoticed [just as if they were sneaking in by a side door]. They are ungodly persons whose condemnation was predicted long ago, for they distort the grace of our God into decadence and immoral freedom [viewing it as an opportunity to do whatever they want], and deny and disown our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.”

– Jude 1:3-4 AMP

Do you have a church home? What do you like best about it? Please let me know in the comments below, so I can check it out!

Until then,

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