These past several years have taught me that a good friend is rare. I have searched and searched and waited patiently. Then I became a blogger and entered the world of social media. Surprisingly it has ushered in new Christian friendship. How can you tell if a friendship is Christian?
What God Says About Friendship
God’s plan for our lives includes relationship with others. He even calls us His friends. He defines a friend as someone He shares inside information from the Father. And He teaches us that we demonstrate our friendship with Him through obedience.
“You are My friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.” – John 15:14-15 MSG
Our friendship with Jesus is our example of what our friendship with others should be like.
What the Bible has to say about friends:
Friends are close to you like family.
Christian friends have the added distinction of also being our brothers and sisters in Christ.
“Take advantage of every opportunity to be a blessing to others, especially to our brothers and sisters in the family of faith!” – Galatians 6:10 TPT
One of the Christian blogger friends I met through social media invited me to lunch. She surprised me with a card and a gift and insisted on treating me to lunch. She was such a blessing that day (and since then). But she insisted that she was thanking me for blessing her. I am so thankful for her.
“Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.” – Proverbs 18:24 MSG
Friends are loyal.
Christian friends have realistic expectations of our friends and of ourselves. None of us are perfect, so there are bound to be offenses. The focus should be understanding and patience.
“Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!” – Proverbs 17:9 MSG
A friend will put you first.
A Christian friend will not just tell you what you want to hear. She will look out for your best interest.
“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” – Proverbs 27:6 NLT
Christian friends correct each other, but do so gently.
“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.” – Galatians 6:1 NLT
Christian friends are not selfish; they are concerned for others.
“This is My commandment, that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you. No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends.” – John 15:12-13 AMP
“If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?” – 1 John 3:17 NLT
Friends encourage you in your faith.
When you feel tempted to despair, a Christian friend will encourage you to stand strong. She will remind you what God’s Word says about your situation and build you up.
“Whatever happens, keep living your lives based on the reality of the gospel of Christ. Then when I come to see you, or hear good reports of you, I’ll know that you stand united in one Spirit and one passion—celebrating together as conquerors in the faith of the gospel.” – Philippians 1:27 TPT
“Because of this, encourage the hearts of your fellow believers and support one another, just as you have already been doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 TPT
Friendships are helpful and important.
Christian friends don’t expect you to go through life alone.
“You are better having a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 CEV
They are there to rejoice with you when you rejoice and grieve with you when you grieve.
“And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’” – Luke 15:9 NKJV
“Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” – Proverbs 27:9 MSG
Friends love you.
Christian friends will demonstrate love with their actions.
“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?” – 1 John 3:16-17 NLT
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.” – 1 John 4:7a NIV
“Above all, have fervent and unfailing love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins [it overlooks unkindness and unselfishly seeks the best for others]. Be hospitable to one another without complaint.” – 1 Peter 4:8-9 AMP
Friends forgive.
Jesus is our role model for how to forgive each other. Christian friends follow His example.
“You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them.” – Colossians 3:12-13 TPT
“Later Peter approached Jesus and said, “How many times do I have to forgive my fellow believer who keeps offending me? Seven times?” Jesus answered, “Not seven times, Peter, but seventy times seven times!” – Matthew 18:21-22 TPT
How to Have a Healthy Christian Friendship
Have a good relationship with God.
I am so grateful for Jesus, for all He has done for me. It is such a blessing to be loved by Him. It is such a blessing to be known by Him and to spend time getting to know Him. Make friends with people who feel the same.
Create friendships with people who will help you fulfill God’s purposes in your life.
Some people will come along and try to get you to do things that aren’t pleasing to God. Such people are not your friends.
Have a healthy love for yourself.
Knowing your true worth will help you guard against comparison and will help you to set boundaries.
Be trustworthy and expect trustworthiness in return.
Do not gossip about your friend’s struggles, shared in confidence.
“You can’t trust gossipers with a secret; they’ll just go blab it all. Put your confidence instead in a trusted friend, for he will be faithful to keep it in confidence.” – Proverbs 11:13 TPT
End unhealthy relationships.
This will make room for new healthier ones to replace them.
Why is Christian Friendship Important?
There are a few reasons why Christian friendship is important:
- Encouragement from Christian friends will point you to Jesus.
- When you have a friend to stand in agreement with you on a matter that you have prayed about, it will be done for you by God (Matthew 18:19).
- Having someone to be vulnerable with helps us grow and sharpens us. Someone who knows our authentic selves, holds us accountable and frees us from having to wear a mask like the world expects.
Prayer:
Jesus, my Lord, thank You for being my best Friend, for laying down Your life so I could live eternally. Help me to love others as fully and truly as You love me. -Anonymous
Happy Friendship Day, Beauties!
Hi Robyn,
What a wonderful topic for the season I am in. It’s a gift from God to have friendships in the faith. I’m certainly glad to know you and be able to see how He continues to work in your life. I love this article. As a matter of fact, it’s slotted as one of my all time favorites from you. You provided a plethora of biblical encouragement and I am grateful♥️. The Lord will continue to bless the work of your hands.
Aww, thank you, Andrea. That is very sweet of you. Thank you for being such a blessing in my life, and I am so glad this article is such a blessing to you! 🥰🤗
This is a great post on friendship, and more so on a Christian friendship. Jesus is the friend that sticks closer than any brother; and I’m grateful he allows us to nurture like minded relationships on earth. I love the fact that you said a friend helps you to unmask and not do life alone.
Thank you, Ty! I agree that Jesus is the best Friend we can ever have. He is definitely my BFF! And yes, true friends give you the safe space you need to be yourself. 🙏🏽🥰🤗
I love this! Just like etiquette, I don’t think we talk much about genuine friendship these days. So important to know what friendship is and what it “looks like”. Also so sweet of your blogger friend to take you to lunch and bless you with a gift. So kind.
Thank you, Teri! 😊 I agree that there is a need to discuss what true friendship looks like. And yes, that was so sweet of her. 🥰 God bless! 🙏🏽💖